Overcoming Postpartum Depression & Living and Loving God's Blessings

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Back home

We moved "back" into our house recently.  It was stressful and emotional. There was a lot of cleaning and repairing that our old house needed. We are getting there though. 

Now that we are settled it has really hit me hard how much I miss Kenya. There have been lots of tears and frustrating moments for me personally. I would say it is hardest for me to adjust back to "normal" 
Most of the time I can't even put it into words. 

Maybe it is like coming down from such an amazing exciting ride or exciting moment. I have described to others feeling like I am lost or like I don't fit in. I am unsettled. I don't like the feeling and I know it won't last forever. 

The pace in Kenya is much slower and the focus is usually on God and family. Here back home the pace of life is exhausting and over scheduled. The focus is not always on God and family. It can be, but materialism is such a problem here in the US. I hate,absolutely hate going to the store now. It stresses me out. Plus I don't want to spend money because I feel like we don't really need much. We lived off of so little in Kenya and already we are spoiled by so much. 

I know I will find myself again. All I can do is just be patient and let the memories of my simple life in Kenya shape my life here back home.

I am loving seeing all of our loved ones and my dog, Reese is finally home. My best friend watched her for me while we were gone. I sure missed her. She has forgiven me and seems glad to be back. 

The kids are doing well adjusting to home. They love having their own rooms again. 

Phill- well not much phases him so I just am annoyed at how quickly he has transitioned while I still struggle. I think each day gets better but I have to be honest. I am not going to pretend like it is easy. The whole thing wasn't easy. There were many times I wanted to give up. We did it though. We made it. We made it home and to expect to return the same person is not realistic. Life changes people. Experiences change people. 

I am very grateful we went to Kenya and I am very grateful to be home. The best of both worlds.