Our BIG Exciting Move...to Kenya

So we are putting almost everything we own up for sale.  (House, cars, camper, furniture, etc. ) Phill, Marquite, Natalie, Phillip and I are about to embark on an amazing journey.  Our plan is to go to Kenya to live for about a year or so depending on how long we are able to stay.  We will come back home when our time is up. We are so excited to start our journey in Kenya! We have a trusted group of friends who will be making sure we are safe and taken care of.  

Our timeline isn't set yet because we need to do three BIG things first...and about a million little things!  We need to sell our house. It will go up on the market this week.  We will need to get affordable health insurance to protect us incase of any emergencies, and we will need to fundraise enough money to live for the time we are planning to be in Kenya.  

Five years ago I went to Kenya for two weeks. I fell in love with everything about Kenya. I have wanted to go back for years.  I have had opportunities, but never felt right about leaving my responsibilities and my children behind.  When I went in 2009, I had an almost 2 year old daughter at home with her grandparents. I made a promise that the next time I went, she would go too. My daughter just turned seven yesterday.  

My husband, Phill, has been to Kenya seven times. He just got back a couple weeks ago when our church took a group. They had an amazing experience and Phill came back with some great project ideas.  Phill even helped me fulfill my dream of working with women who suffered from the same birth injury that I had after I had my second child. (Obstetric fistula) The only difference between these women and me is location.  I was born in America and I was able to get my surgery paid for while women in other countries suffer greatly. I will have an amazing opportunity to share my story and help other women suffering from this condition. 

Phill and I will be posting a lot about our journey and I hope to someday put it all together as a book.  We just want to say thank you to everyone for all of your support and prayers.  Please keep our family in your prayers.  We feel so incredibly blessed that we are feeling called to do this amazing mission.  We have plenty of room for you to come and visit! We would love it!

Obstetric trauma- that no one ever talks about...

It has been 2.5 years since my battle with post-partum depression. I have come a long way from that awful summer.  I haven't written much about that experience lately, because I am busy writing my book about foster care.  I am writing about my 12 children that shared our home for different periods of their lives.  I changed their names to protect their identity.  I am almost done with that book and will be hopefully publishing it to share with you all. I am so excited for my kids, family, and friends to read it!!

My "baby" Phillip is 2.5 years old.  He is a busy little guy.  He makes me laugh everyday.  He is a lover and a mamma's boy. The other morning I told him it was time to get up and was explaining to him the things we had to do that day.  He opened his sleepy eyelids and told me quietly to "stop talking."  I bust out laughing! OK- so he is not a morning person.

I have been battling a silent struggle that I won't go into too much. It is too graphic and I am not that open about it yet.  Some of you already know, but most don't.  I had a fourth degree tear with both my children.  (A complete tear) I healed very well after my daughter but not so great after Phillip.  I am positive this had something to do with my horrible struggle with post-partum depression.  I used to sob every time I had to use the bathroom because of the pain.  I saw three doctors who dismissed me.  I was told it was just the way my hips were. I was also told how well I healed. Finally, I kept going to different doctors and a male doctor- is the one who actually did an exam.  He called it obstetric trauma, or obstetric fistula.

I went to see a surgeon in May and had my prep. surgery.  Then in July I had a pretty big surgery. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't do much of anything for six weeks.  The surgery failed and it actually made matters worse. I was devastated and very angry. I became depressed again.  I didn't give up hope though. I prayed and prayed that God would heal me.

I went to see an amazing doctor who did my surgery on Oct. 19th. She told me it would extremely painful.  I didn't care. I knew if she could fix this problem, I would be so grateful.  She did an excellent job and I am recovering well. I am in a lot of pain, but I am grateful.  She also discovered two more issues and was able to fix that as well.  God knew what he was doing. He knew that first surgery wouldn't work and if it did, I would still have problems down the road. I am so thankful.

 I am doing this once again to create awareness.  I want to make you all aware of the silent suffering that is going on in third world countries and in developing countries.

Women in third world countries who have the problem I had, are shut out from their husbands, families, and community. That would be ME if I was there.  It was bad enough I had to suffer for 2.5 years. These women are getting married at the young age of 9 or 10 and are pushing out babies and having massive injuries to their tiny bodies.  They are not given any treatment and are sent home with devastating results. (Unable to control their bowels and/or bladders, infections, pain, no hope of treatment) Now there are centers and doctors that treat these women and perform the surgeries at little cost to the women because they can't afford it.  It is life changing for these women. They are able to live a normal life again instead of being shut out from society all because SHE HAD A BABY.

My situation was not that extreme. I would get depressed because I was in a lot of pain most of the time. It affected EVERY area of my life. I love to run, but there were times I would get done running and be in so much pain, I would have to wait three or four days before trying to run again. I am a social person, but I found myself not wanting to go anywhere.

This is a problem in developing countries as well. I have met so many amazing women in a group that is a support for women like me. The problem is that most doctors/surgeons don't know how to fix this problem.  So we are waiting and waiting to be "fixed"  to be "normal" again and instead we have failed surgery after failed surgery. A few have been lucky and have found great surgeons. I guess I am lucky too because my surgeon goes to Congo to help women with obstetric trauma. She is an amazing woman. In fact, she is the woman who suggested I go for in-patient treatment with my post-partum depression.  I want to tell her thank you so much because she saved my life-twice!

I am researching places to donate to this cause.  My heart is still in Kenya and there are a few hospitals set up to work with women with obstetric trauma.  Much like post-partum depression, people don't talk about this issue. It is a silent tragedy and the victims suffer in silence.
One website to learn how to help is  www.hamlinfistula.org
A friend of mine also founded  operationhopefistula.com

crash landings

I often think about blogging on things that happen in my day to day life, but then life keeps happening!  So here is a little update:
Our little guy is 18 months now!  Holy Cow!  He is such a busy boy.  He says things like, "Ball, doggy, daddy, Reese- our dog- but it sounds more like Eese."  He finally said "mommy!"  He calls everything to drink "water"  He even says little phrases like "can't get down" or "I'm stuck!"  He is so funny!  He makes me laugh all of the time. Even when I am having a bad day, he gets me to smile instantly.

We just put carpet in my daughters room and Phillip just got out of the bathtub.  We asked him what he thought of the new room.  He took off his towel and laid down naked on the new carpet.  We all were laughing and I said, "Well I guess he likes it!"  Tonight after the bath he dropped his towel and peed on the radiator in her room.  Oh wow!  I wonder how soon is too soon to start potty training!

My family and I went to a hotel near our parent's cabin over Thanksgiving break.  My husband and our four kiddos stayed in a hotel for two nights. (Natalie, Phillip, and our two foster daughters)  The hotel had a little water park.  We had a blast swimming.  The hotel allowed us to take the little ones down the waterslides with us.  After about fifteen times going down the waterslide, I thought I was an old pro.  I started to sit down while holding Phillip and I slipped. I fell directly on an edge on my butt!  The only other thing would have been to grab the bar and drop Phillip, but I am glad I didn't do that.  It hurt so bad that if the lifeguard wasn't right behind me I would have cried!  So later in the elevator I showed Phill, my husband the huge red mark on my butt. He yelled at me because there were video cameras!  Ooops!

So later that night I discovered a huge baseball size bruise on my butt. It is a little ridiculous!  But mommy's come with lots of battle scars- even in all places!!

My kiddos

Well we are off to the school year so far so good. My daughter is in 4K this year. She argues with me most mornings about not going, but loves it once we get there.  My little guy, Phillip, has earned the nickname Buns. I don't really know where it started, but it just fits for now. He is a little terror.  Like hell on wheels. But he has these devilish handsome looks about him, you can't stay mad at him for long.  He has white hair and blue eyes. He says things like, the dogs, ball, daddy, some more, bye, hi, outside, and water. He even says, "can't get down!" and yelled at one of the dogs and said, "You stink!"  I guess these are all things he hears around the house. No swear words yet!

He will not say mamma, mom, mommy or anything that even sounds like it.  He said bum a few times, but he won't say mom.  I am sure it will come out one of these days, but in the time being I am patiently waiting.

I just finished coaching middle school cross country. I was super crazy busy. But I loved it. LOVED IT!  This was my first year coaching anything. It was awesome. I had so much fun with these 7th and 8th graders. We started out running 1 mile and ended the season running 4 miles. All of my kids ran 4 miles!  I was so proud of them.  I got all choked up a few times during the meets. I would get goosebumps and a huge lump in my throat as I was yelling and running trying to get to the next spot to cheer them on.  The last race I was sprinting to the finish line to get there in time to see my kids finish. I was huffing and puffing like a huge moron!

The best part of this whole experience was that my 7th grade daughter, who we are hoping to adopt very soon, was on the team. It was so amazing to share this with her. I am sure I embarrassed her a few times, but she lived. I am so incredibly proud of her for all of her hard work. I am so blessed to share something I love so much with someone I love so much.

My other new addition to the family is her older sister, Dominique. She is 16 and joined our family this August. She is an amazing young woman. My kids adore her. It is so great to have both girls together again. They love each other so much and to be honest- they rarely ever fight.  They have this incredible bond.  Dominique joined volleyball and finished the season like a champ.  Now she is a wrestling cheerleader!

Oh wow- I am totally bragging!  I guess I don't care- I love my kids so much I can't imagine a life without them. Some days I am whipped. My head hits the pillow and I am outie!  Other times I am so frazzled I start yelling, crying, and I want to give up everything. I know we all get to that point. But then I remember that "I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength."  And he always does.

God Bless you and your babies!  I hope all is well with you all who are reading this.
Love
Jodie

Routines

Wowsers!
I have been neglecting my blog lately!  Life is busy... especially in the summer.  I also made a big BIG mistake by my blog. I didn't keep up to date on my e-mail and it expired!  What? I didn't know a website could just expire like that!  Maybe I should open all my e-mails instead of putting them aside for a day when I get time to read them.

Well so far so good this fall. I am happy to say my kids are in school and I am loving a routine again. I am coaching middle school cross country for the first time in my entire life!  I love it. My 7th and 8th graders are amazing.  The first couple days were rough. It was so hot and humid. I heard a lot of complaining. I don't blame them though.  This week is a whole different story. They are really putting forth good effort and I am enjoying it much more.  I am so proud of my kids already and we haven't even had our first meet.

I am a huge believer in sports. I think sports are almost equally important in our children's development. If your kids aren't into sports, clubs or other activities are important as well.

Oh- we have had a few bats in our living room a couple times this summer. There is a lot of screaming going on and my husband thinks he is the bat ninja. I have a really funny video that I posted on facebook awhile back. I think the bat problem has been solved- I hope at least.

My in-laws have finally moved to town!  I am very grateful for that. It is great to have our family so close by.

My little guy is already almost 16 months old! I can't believe it. He is talking- but he still won't call me mamma.  He will say things like, "That's a ball" or "The dogs"  but he doesn't call me mom!  He call's Phill dad, and even a few times he has called me dad. I give up!

Well that is all I really have for now. Hope all is well with all of you!

One year ago today

Last year on July 21st, I was admitted to the Mercy Janesville Hospital for severe postpartum depression. I thought about writing about that day, but it is already written and it won't be a day I ever forget.

I drive by the hospital often and always look up to the fifth floor and smile. I say a silent prayer for the doctors, nurses, and mostly for the patients. I pray for the patients that were there with me and I hope they are doing well. I pray for the family members of those who lost someone to a mental illness. I pray for more awareness out there for those struggling with postpartum depression or any kind of mental illness. I pray mostly for more acceptance of people who have a mental illness.

I know I still struggle with this. I have to fill out forms for lots of things.  I have to fill out my foster care paperwork to be re-licensed as a foster parent. It always has a section for mental problems or something like that. I always cringe, but I just put a big PPD on it and move on. I still will argue I am not mentally ill- I believe that PPD is a chemical imbalance caused by the dramatic shift in hormones that  your body has to try to readjust to. Not to mention the severe sleep deprivation. But whatever!  I won't lose sleep over it now!

I also have to fill out forms when I see a new physician. I just put PPD on there and usually no one asks questions. I don't really care if they do.

That was then and this is now and I am so grateful to be healthy and so happy a year later. I have everything I ever wanted plus more. God has blessed me so much this past year and continues to bless me and my family.

Recently I ran a 5k and it went really well.  I did the 3.1 mile run in 24 min. 49 seconds and took third in my age group. I was really proud of myself. I started to struggle but was reminded back to where I was a year ago. Mentally I can push through ANYTHING now and that is a new confidence I have always wanted and now I have.

I met a lady who took second in our age group. She told me about her struggle with anxiety and depression. She said something I will never forget. She said that when she is depressed she just accepts it and knows it will stay for awhile, but it won't stay forever. You just accept it and do the best you can.  I really took that to heart. I think that is true of everything in life. We just do the best we can do and who knows where you will be in a year from now. It WILL get better.

I promise :)

Perfect People

Wow- it has been a month since I have blogged! I know it has been busy, but where is the summer going?

My husband left for Kenya a few weeks ago and successfully lead another trip to and from Kenya. I was mentally preparing myself for this, but I will admit it was hard.

Just a little flashback here- Last year when he left for Kenya I suffered the worst two weeks of my life with Postpartum Depression. I was hospitalized for three full days.

The day before he left, I was so anxious. I had a meeting at work and I was so nervous about the meeting. Later we went to dinner and I couldn't get a hold of my thoughts. I helped him pack and went to bed feeling like a train wreck. I was so scared of "it" coming back to get me.  It was like when Phill is around, he is my protector. When he is gone, I am much more vulnerable.

The next morning I went for a run. I figured a run would get rid of all that nervous stress. I use exercise as a stress reliever and it usually makes me feel 80% better afterwards. As I was running, I heard a song by Natalie Grant. It is called "Perfect People"   It says, " There is no such thing as perfect people, there is no such thing as a perfect life. Come as you are broken and scarred, and be changed by a perfect God."

I love this song because it talks about how we try to be perfect and act like nothing is ever wrong. We hide behind "crooked smiles."  The truth is you will only exhaust yourself trying to be perfect.  The only way we are perfect is through God's eyes.

I kept running knowing that in a few hours Phill was going to be leaving. The song kept playing and God blessed me with this verse in that song, "Cause he knows where you are and where you've been, and you never have to go there again."

He was right... I did great!  I had a lot of friends and family checking in on me during this time while Phill was away. I knew what to do if I started to feel anxious or depressed. The kids and I had a blast. We were busy planning a rummage sale, going on a mini-vacation, and shopping!  I even got some "alone" time which I totally needed to recharge.

When Phill came back, I am sure he was relieved that he didn't have to bust me out of a hospital like last year!  I know I was sure relieved :)