Sunday, August 24, 2014
Monday, August 4, 2014
Material goods
What about all of our stuff?
It is overwhelming to look around and see all of the things we have accumulated in our house over the past five years. We have boxes of keepsakes in our basement. Rummage sales put a dent in our stuff, but we have so much to get rid of. Thanks to the internet, we have managed to sell a lot of stuff already but simply taking a picture of it and posting it on Edgerton Online Garage sale. I am helping my in-laws sell a lot of stuff also. They have a lot of antiques and really cool things that they are parting with also. My in-laws are so excited to live with a backpack on their backs!
Phill's cousin, Brooke, and her husband and two little boys are living in the Netherlands. She described the experience of getting rid of material stuff as "very freeing and you won't miss it once it is gone." I think it will be exactly that.
I attempted to clean my basement yesterday and it was a horrifying experience! Most of it is Phill's childhood in a box. Baseball cards, letter jacket, wrestling stuff galore, and lots of pictures. We also kept tons of books and information on foster care. I found my "craft" box which I was looking for. I try to be "crafty" but I am not. (I can't bake, cook, or craft, but I can rip carpet out of my house like a beast!)
Anyway- I am excited to come back to a house-any house will do. As long as it has a garage and central air. I am spoiled that way I guess! One day my dream of living by the lake will come true. I would love to live in a log cabin overlooking the lake. I will wake up to a cup of coffee and watch the snow fall over the lake while I work on writing a book, blog, or whatever they have in the future. I will have my big St. Bernard dog next to me and I will smile and look back on the life I lived. One day I would also love to buy a new car. I think that would be awesome! I picture myself 85 years old though. I don't need a new car or a log cabin by the lake yet.
It is overwhelming to look around and see all of the things we have accumulated in our house over the past five years. We have boxes of keepsakes in our basement. Rummage sales put a dent in our stuff, but we have so much to get rid of. Thanks to the internet, we have managed to sell a lot of stuff already but simply taking a picture of it and posting it on Edgerton Online Garage sale. I am helping my in-laws sell a lot of stuff also. They have a lot of antiques and really cool things that they are parting with also. My in-laws are so excited to live with a backpack on their backs!
Phill's cousin, Brooke, and her husband and two little boys are living in the Netherlands. She described the experience of getting rid of material stuff as "very freeing and you won't miss it once it is gone." I think it will be exactly that.
I attempted to clean my basement yesterday and it was a horrifying experience! Most of it is Phill's childhood in a box. Baseball cards, letter jacket, wrestling stuff galore, and lots of pictures. We also kept tons of books and information on foster care. I found my "craft" box which I was looking for. I try to be "crafty" but I am not. (I can't bake, cook, or craft, but I can rip carpet out of my house like a beast!)
Anyway- I am excited to come back to a house-any house will do. As long as it has a garage and central air. I am spoiled that way I guess! One day my dream of living by the lake will come true. I would love to live in a log cabin overlooking the lake. I will wake up to a cup of coffee and watch the snow fall over the lake while I work on writing a book, blog, or whatever they have in the future. I will have my big St. Bernard dog next to me and I will smile and look back on the life I lived. One day I would also love to buy a new car. I think that would be awesome! I picture myself 85 years old though. I don't need a new car or a log cabin by the lake yet.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Kenya: What about Reese and Tika?
One of the first questions Natalie, age 7, asked me is what about Reese and Tika. Reese is our 8 year old Peek-a-poo (pekingese/poodle mix dog) and Tika is our 2 year old Yorkie-poo mix dog. When Phill and I first talked about going our answer was yes they are coming with us. When we started looking into it further and saw all the red tape around taking a pet to Kenya, it didn't look so easy. One good thing is they are small. That means they could fit in a small carrier under our seat... for 8 hours or longer on one plane and 8 hours or longer on another plane.
Reese would probably not like it, but she would be fine. Tika would probably be evicted from the plane. She is still like a puppy in a lot of ways. She would cry the entire flight and since they are lap dogs, would be furious if they couldn't be held. I wish I was like Lady Gaga who flew everywhere with her dog in a private room on an airplane.
It isn't just the flight that concerns me. There could be a potential problem for my dogs and their health in another country that they are not used to. Then I also feel that they are our family and even if their environment changes, at least their family or "pack" won't change. I could see the kids in Kenya running after our dogs and our dogs being so happy to have new friends.
I know if we asked, many people would offer to help watch our dogs while we are gone. Reese would be happy to be separated from Tika, but Tika is her annoying side kick and loves Reese.
So pet lovers out there my question is to you. What would you do if it were up to you? Thanks so much for reading.
Reese would probably not like it, but she would be fine. Tika would probably be evicted from the plane. She is still like a puppy in a lot of ways. She would cry the entire flight and since they are lap dogs, would be furious if they couldn't be held. I wish I was like Lady Gaga who flew everywhere with her dog in a private room on an airplane.
It isn't just the flight that concerns me. There could be a potential problem for my dogs and their health in another country that they are not used to. Then I also feel that they are our family and even if their environment changes, at least their family or "pack" won't change. I could see the kids in Kenya running after our dogs and our dogs being so happy to have new friends.
I know if we asked, many people would offer to help watch our dogs while we are gone. Reese would be happy to be separated from Tika, but Tika is her annoying side kick and loves Reese.
So pet lovers out there my question is to you. What would you do if it were up to you? Thanks so much for reading.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Kenya: Is it safe?
I have had some concerns from my loved ones, family and friends. Is it safe?
Well I guess to be honest my answer is no. Kenya is not any safer than anywhere here in the United States.
You see I have anxiety. I have had major anxiety my whole life up until I had Postpartum Depression in 2010. That was a major turning point for me with my anxiety. I asked God to help me and he did. From that moment on, I made a promise to God to trust him and not to worry so much. I am not perfect, but I don't worry like I used to. I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious to go to Kenya. I am taking my three beautiful children, ages 16, 7, and 4. They are the most important thing to me in my life. I have to protect them. I have to trust God on this one.
I would also be lying if I didn't say that I have had anxiety while dropping my kids off at school. I am worried that a school shooting could happen in my little and safe town. I worry that when I go to the mall or a movie, I might be shot. I also worry that if I am on a plane or a bus or running a race, I might get blown up by a terrorist bomb. When I am out for a long run and exhausted, I worry that it might be the perfect opportunity for someone to abduct me. It doesn't stop me from taking my kids to school, going to a movie, running or living my life.
To be really honest, I was more afraid of being eaten by a lion on safari than I was of being harmed while in Kenya. We will be in a private, gated, village where there is 24 hour security. That is more safe than my home now, where I have had items stolen from our cars while we sleep and money stolen from my purse in broad daylight.
We also have a trusted group of over 100 friends in Kenya that would do nothing but protect us. We are not going in blindly and just going to take risks. We know not to travel alone or go anywhere at night. We make smart decisions. My husband has been to Kenya 7 times and the only thing that was really scary was when there was an alleged terrorist threat on a plane from London to the US in 2004. Luckily officials caught the threat in time and that was when airport security got really tight. Another trip someone took his cell phone. I just have faith in God and in my husband that we will be as safe as we can be while traveling to Kenya.
Well I guess to be honest my answer is no. Kenya is not any safer than anywhere here in the United States.
You see I have anxiety. I have had major anxiety my whole life up until I had Postpartum Depression in 2010. That was a major turning point for me with my anxiety. I asked God to help me and he did. From that moment on, I made a promise to God to trust him and not to worry so much. I am not perfect, but I don't worry like I used to. I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious to go to Kenya. I am taking my three beautiful children, ages 16, 7, and 4. They are the most important thing to me in my life. I have to protect them. I have to trust God on this one.
I would also be lying if I didn't say that I have had anxiety while dropping my kids off at school. I am worried that a school shooting could happen in my little and safe town. I worry that when I go to the mall or a movie, I might be shot. I also worry that if I am on a plane or a bus or running a race, I might get blown up by a terrorist bomb. When I am out for a long run and exhausted, I worry that it might be the perfect opportunity for someone to abduct me. It doesn't stop me from taking my kids to school, going to a movie, running or living my life.
To be really honest, I was more afraid of being eaten by a lion on safari than I was of being harmed while in Kenya. We will be in a private, gated, village where there is 24 hour security. That is more safe than my home now, where I have had items stolen from our cars while we sleep and money stolen from my purse in broad daylight.
We also have a trusted group of over 100 friends in Kenya that would do nothing but protect us. We are not going in blindly and just going to take risks. We know not to travel alone or go anywhere at night. We make smart decisions. My husband has been to Kenya 7 times and the only thing that was really scary was when there was an alleged terrorist threat on a plane from London to the US in 2004. Luckily officials caught the threat in time and that was when airport security got really tight. Another trip someone took his cell phone. I just have faith in God and in my husband that we will be as safe as we can be while traveling to Kenya.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Our BIG Exciting Move...to Kenya
So we are putting almost everything we own up for sale. (House, cars, camper, furniture, etc. ) Phill, Marquite, Natalie, Phillip and I are about to embark on an amazing journey. Our plan is to go to Kenya to live for about a year or so depending on how long we are able to stay. We will come back home when our time is up. We are so excited to start our journey in Kenya! We have a trusted group of friends who will be making sure we are safe and taken care of.
Our timeline isn't set yet because we need to do three BIG things first...and about a million little things! We need to sell our house. It will go up on the market this week. We will need to get affordable health insurance to protect us incase of any emergencies, and we will need to fundraise enough money to live for the time we are planning to be in Kenya.
My husband, Phill, has been to Kenya seven times. He just got back a couple weeks ago when our church took a group. They had an amazing experience and Phill came back with some great project ideas. Phill even helped me fulfill my dream of working with women who suffered from the same birth injury that I had after I had my second child. (Obstetric fistula) The only difference between these women and me is location. I was born in America and I was able to get my surgery paid for while women in other countries suffer greatly. I will have an amazing opportunity to share my story and help other women suffering from this condition.
Phill and I will be posting a lot about our journey and I hope to someday put it all together as a book. We just want to say thank you to everyone for all of your support and prayers. Please keep our family in your prayers. We feel so incredibly blessed that we are feeling called to do this amazing mission. We have plenty of room for you to come and visit! We would love it!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Obstetric trauma- that no one ever talks about...
It has been 2.5 years since my battle with post-partum depression. I have come a long way from that awful summer. I haven't written much about that experience lately, because I am busy writing my book about foster care. I am writing about my 12 children that shared our home for different periods of their lives. I changed their names to protect their identity. I am almost done with that book and will be hopefully publishing it to share with you all. I am so excited for my kids, family, and friends to read it!!
My "baby" Phillip is 2.5 years old. He is a busy little guy. He makes me laugh everyday. He is a lover and a mamma's boy. The other morning I told him it was time to get up and was explaining to him the things we had to do that day. He opened his sleepy eyelids and told me quietly to "stop talking." I bust out laughing! OK- so he is not a morning person.
I have been battling a silent struggle that I won't go into too much. It is too graphic and I am not that open about it yet. Some of you already know, but most don't. I had a fourth degree tear with both my children. (A complete tear) I healed very well after my daughter but not so great after Phillip. I am positive this had something to do with my horrible struggle with post-partum depression. I used to sob every time I had to use the bathroom because of the pain. I saw three doctors who dismissed me. I was told it was just the way my hips were. I was also told how well I healed. Finally, I kept going to different doctors and a male doctor- is the one who actually did an exam. He called it obstetric trauma, or obstetric fistula.
I went to see a surgeon in May and had my prep. surgery. Then in July I had a pretty big surgery. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't do much of anything for six weeks. The surgery failed and it actually made matters worse. I was devastated and very angry. I became depressed again. I didn't give up hope though. I prayed and prayed that God would heal me.
I went to see an amazing doctor who did my surgery on Oct. 19th. She told me it would extremely painful. I didn't care. I knew if she could fix this problem, I would be so grateful. She did an excellent job and I am recovering well. I am in a lot of pain, but I am grateful. She also discovered two more issues and was able to fix that as well. God knew what he was doing. He knew that first surgery wouldn't work and if it did, I would still have problems down the road. I am so thankful.
I am doing this once again to create awareness. I want to make you all aware of the silent suffering that is going on in third world countries and in developing countries.
Women in third world countries who have the problem I had, are shut out from their husbands, families, and community. That would be ME if I was there. It was bad enough I had to suffer for 2.5 years. These women are getting married at the young age of 9 or 10 and are pushing out babies and having massive injuries to their tiny bodies. They are not given any treatment and are sent home with devastating results. (Unable to control their bowels and/or bladders, infections, pain, no hope of treatment) Now there are centers and doctors that treat these women and perform the surgeries at little cost to the women because they can't afford it. It is life changing for these women. They are able to live a normal life again instead of being shut out from society all because SHE HAD A BABY.
My situation was not that extreme. I would get depressed because I was in a lot of pain most of the time. It affected EVERY area of my life. I love to run, but there were times I would get done running and be in so much pain, I would have to wait three or four days before trying to run again. I am a social person, but I found myself not wanting to go anywhere.
This is a problem in developing countries as well. I have met so many amazing women in a group that is a support for women like me. The problem is that most doctors/surgeons don't know how to fix this problem. So we are waiting and waiting to be "fixed" to be "normal" again and instead we have failed surgery after failed surgery. A few have been lucky and have found great surgeons. I guess I am lucky too because my surgeon goes to Congo to help women with obstetric trauma. She is an amazing woman. In fact, she is the woman who suggested I go for in-patient treatment with my post-partum depression. I want to tell her thank you so much because she saved my life-twice!
I am researching places to donate to this cause. My heart is still in Kenya and there are a few hospitals set up to work with women with obstetric trauma. Much like post-partum depression, people don't talk about this issue. It is a silent tragedy and the victims suffer in silence.
One website to learn how to help is www.hamlinfistula.org
A friend of mine also founded operationhopefistula.com
My "baby" Phillip is 2.5 years old. He is a busy little guy. He makes me laugh everyday. He is a lover and a mamma's boy. The other morning I told him it was time to get up and was explaining to him the things we had to do that day. He opened his sleepy eyelids and told me quietly to "stop talking." I bust out laughing! OK- so he is not a morning person.
I have been battling a silent struggle that I won't go into too much. It is too graphic and I am not that open about it yet. Some of you already know, but most don't. I had a fourth degree tear with both my children. (A complete tear) I healed very well after my daughter but not so great after Phillip. I am positive this had something to do with my horrible struggle with post-partum depression. I used to sob every time I had to use the bathroom because of the pain. I saw three doctors who dismissed me. I was told it was just the way my hips were. I was also told how well I healed. Finally, I kept going to different doctors and a male doctor- is the one who actually did an exam. He called it obstetric trauma, or obstetric fistula.
I went to see a surgeon in May and had my prep. surgery. Then in July I had a pretty big surgery. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't do much of anything for six weeks. The surgery failed and it actually made matters worse. I was devastated and very angry. I became depressed again. I didn't give up hope though. I prayed and prayed that God would heal me.
I went to see an amazing doctor who did my surgery on Oct. 19th. She told me it would extremely painful. I didn't care. I knew if she could fix this problem, I would be so grateful. She did an excellent job and I am recovering well. I am in a lot of pain, but I am grateful. She also discovered two more issues and was able to fix that as well. God knew what he was doing. He knew that first surgery wouldn't work and if it did, I would still have problems down the road. I am so thankful.
I am doing this once again to create awareness. I want to make you all aware of the silent suffering that is going on in third world countries and in developing countries.
Women in third world countries who have the problem I had, are shut out from their husbands, families, and community. That would be ME if I was there. It was bad enough I had to suffer for 2.5 years. These women are getting married at the young age of 9 or 10 and are pushing out babies and having massive injuries to their tiny bodies. They are not given any treatment and are sent home with devastating results. (Unable to control their bowels and/or bladders, infections, pain, no hope of treatment) Now there are centers and doctors that treat these women and perform the surgeries at little cost to the women because they can't afford it. It is life changing for these women. They are able to live a normal life again instead of being shut out from society all because SHE HAD A BABY.
My situation was not that extreme. I would get depressed because I was in a lot of pain most of the time. It affected EVERY area of my life. I love to run, but there were times I would get done running and be in so much pain, I would have to wait three or four days before trying to run again. I am a social person, but I found myself not wanting to go anywhere.
This is a problem in developing countries as well. I have met so many amazing women in a group that is a support for women like me. The problem is that most doctors/surgeons don't know how to fix this problem. So we are waiting and waiting to be "fixed" to be "normal" again and instead we have failed surgery after failed surgery. A few have been lucky and have found great surgeons. I guess I am lucky too because my surgeon goes to Congo to help women with obstetric trauma. She is an amazing woman. In fact, she is the woman who suggested I go for in-patient treatment with my post-partum depression. I want to tell her thank you so much because she saved my life-twice!
I am researching places to donate to this cause. My heart is still in Kenya and there are a few hospitals set up to work with women with obstetric trauma. Much like post-partum depression, people don't talk about this issue. It is a silent tragedy and the victims suffer in silence.
One website to learn how to help is www.hamlinfistula.org
A friend of mine also founded operationhopefistula.com
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
crash landings
I often think about blogging on things that happen in my day to day life, but then life keeps happening! So here is a little update:
Our little guy is 18 months now! Holy Cow! He is such a busy boy. He says things like, "Ball, doggy, daddy, Reese- our dog- but it sounds more like Eese." He finally said "mommy!" He calls everything to drink "water" He even says little phrases like "can't get down" or "I'm stuck!" He is so funny! He makes me laugh all of the time. Even when I am having a bad day, he gets me to smile instantly.
We just put carpet in my daughters room and Phillip just got out of the bathtub. We asked him what he thought of the new room. He took off his towel and laid down naked on the new carpet. We all were laughing and I said, "Well I guess he likes it!" Tonight after the bath he dropped his towel and peed on the radiator in her room. Oh wow! I wonder how soon is too soon to start potty training!
My family and I went to a hotel near our parent's cabin over Thanksgiving break. My husband and our four kiddos stayed in a hotel for two nights. (Natalie, Phillip, and our two foster daughters) The hotel had a little water park. We had a blast swimming. The hotel allowed us to take the little ones down the waterslides with us. After about fifteen times going down the waterslide, I thought I was an old pro. I started to sit down while holding Phillip and I slipped. I fell directly on an edge on my butt! The only other thing would have been to grab the bar and drop Phillip, but I am glad I didn't do that. It hurt so bad that if the lifeguard wasn't right behind me I would have cried! So later in the elevator I showed Phill, my husband the huge red mark on my butt. He yelled at me because there were video cameras! Ooops!
So later that night I discovered a huge baseball size bruise on my butt. It is a little ridiculous! But mommy's come with lots of battle scars- even in all places!!
Our little guy is 18 months now! Holy Cow! He is such a busy boy. He says things like, "Ball, doggy, daddy, Reese- our dog- but it sounds more like Eese." He finally said "mommy!" He calls everything to drink "water" He even says little phrases like "can't get down" or "I'm stuck!" He is so funny! He makes me laugh all of the time. Even when I am having a bad day, he gets me to smile instantly.
We just put carpet in my daughters room and Phillip just got out of the bathtub. We asked him what he thought of the new room. He took off his towel and laid down naked on the new carpet. We all were laughing and I said, "Well I guess he likes it!" Tonight after the bath he dropped his towel and peed on the radiator in her room. Oh wow! I wonder how soon is too soon to start potty training!
My family and I went to a hotel near our parent's cabin over Thanksgiving break. My husband and our four kiddos stayed in a hotel for two nights. (Natalie, Phillip, and our two foster daughters) The hotel had a little water park. We had a blast swimming. The hotel allowed us to take the little ones down the waterslides with us. After about fifteen times going down the waterslide, I thought I was an old pro. I started to sit down while holding Phillip and I slipped. I fell directly on an edge on my butt! The only other thing would have been to grab the bar and drop Phillip, but I am glad I didn't do that. It hurt so bad that if the lifeguard wasn't right behind me I would have cried! So later in the elevator I showed Phill, my husband the huge red mark on my butt. He yelled at me because there were video cameras! Ooops!
So later that night I discovered a huge baseball size bruise on my butt. It is a little ridiculous! But mommy's come with lots of battle scars- even in all places!!
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