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| My book is now available as a Kindle book on Amazon! Click the picture or search: Stronger Mom on Amazon.com Please share it with anyone who would benefit from reading the story, cost is only $2.99. Also, when you look at it, please hit the Facebook Like button at the top. |
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Now on Amazon!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I could have missed this
For a long time right after my episode of PPD, I felt like I cheated death somehow. I can't explain it, but just the idea that I wanted to end my life was so terrifying to me. I know I didn't even come close to doing this, but just the thoughts were enough to scare the living daylights out of me!
I really believed I would never come out of my PPD. I remember thinking, I have to live sixty more years like this? I had no hope, but at the same time I kept praying. I know my faith pulled me through and minimal damage was done to my family. I pray all of the time for those who don't have faith. What is stopping them from taking their lives? My heart breaks when I think about those who have succeeded. I know I have said, I now know why people commit suicide. The pain is too great to even put into words. It is the only way you know how to end it. It is an illness. I don't like to call it a mental illness, but it is. You aren't able to make rational decisions. I pray that God has mercy on them. He is a loving and forgiving God, so I believe he does.
Last week I was watching my kids on the slip and slide. They were all laughing and squealing and you couldn't help but laugh. My husband and I even went down on it! It was such a great day. I remember thinking to myself, "I could have missed this." I am incredibly blessed by God.
Last night, I put my daughter to bed. It was hot, the kids were overtired, I was crabby like PMS crabby! Natalie asked me to tell her a story. I told her that once there was a woman who never got married and never had kids and she lived happily ever after! Natalie said, "That isn't a good story!" I started laughing. She knew I was kidding-sort of!
I really believed I would never come out of my PPD. I remember thinking, I have to live sixty more years like this? I had no hope, but at the same time I kept praying. I know my faith pulled me through and minimal damage was done to my family. I pray all of the time for those who don't have faith. What is stopping them from taking their lives? My heart breaks when I think about those who have succeeded. I know I have said, I now know why people commit suicide. The pain is too great to even put into words. It is the only way you know how to end it. It is an illness. I don't like to call it a mental illness, but it is. You aren't able to make rational decisions. I pray that God has mercy on them. He is a loving and forgiving God, so I believe he does.
Last week I was watching my kids on the slip and slide. They were all laughing and squealing and you couldn't help but laugh. My husband and I even went down on it! It was such a great day. I remember thinking to myself, "I could have missed this." I am incredibly blessed by God.
Last night, I put my daughter to bed. It was hot, the kids were overtired, I was crabby like PMS crabby! Natalie asked me to tell her a story. I told her that once there was a woman who never got married and never had kids and she lived happily ever after! Natalie said, "That isn't a good story!" I started laughing. She knew I was kidding-sort of!
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