Overcoming Postpartum Depression & Living and Loving God's Blessings

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Two weeks

So in two weeks from today I will be on an airplane to Kenya with my family.  I can't even contain this excitement!!  It is really coming up fast.  I am actually packing my suitcase.  Want to know what else I am packing on?  The pounds! I was at the gym today and I just kept looking at myself in the mirror and it was a moment of terror!  When did this happen? How did this happen?  Is it the stress? Maybe.  Is it the feeling of limbo? Maybe. Is it because I am not training for a marathon anymore and not running with my cross country kids?  Probably a little of that too. I think really if I am being honest- it is what I will call "The last of my favorite American junk food binge"  I won't go into detail what that is, but you can probably guess. Enough already though. This is just a little ridiculous.  I had sushi last night with a couple friends. That's healthy right?  I just keep imagining people who go on those shows like Survivor or Naked and Afraid and they gain lots of weight because they will be starving for a long period of time. I was not selected for one of those shows so there is no need to eat like that!

So the plan is to eat a lot better when we get to Kenya. We won't have access to much junk food which will be good. The kids might not like that, but they are pretty good eaters anyway.  I am excited to be a part of the Kenyan culture. I can't wait to get there.  While I am here in America for two more weeks, just turn your head if you see my grocery cart. This is only a phase!  

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Nine years

Nine years ago today, we got married. I promised to love you in all circumstances from that day until the day I die. I feel like we have seen so much in those nine years.  We have watched loved ones pass away, pets pass away, held our new babies, adoption, raising foster children, moving four times, travel, new jobs, many arguments, postpartum depression, surgeries, personal victories, and defeats. 
  I can remember screaming at you, "Why can't you just be normal?"  In my frustration and exhaustion I saw the worst in you. I saw someone who couldn't be content with the status quo.  What was wrong with you? Why did you have to live in a different reality than the rest of us?  Then I remembered that was what I loved about you the most. That was what attracted me to you in the first place. You didn't think that normal was for you.  You had dreams and goals and planned to pursue them.  You are a change-maker.  You don't just sit back and let life happen to you, you go and make life happen.  It hasn't been easy, but it has been exciting.  In these nine years of marriage, we have grown so much together.  We have had our share of challenges but in the end we always end up stronger.  Our kids are the greatest gifts you could have ever given me. Being able to be a stay-at-home mom has been my dream since I was a little girl.  I will ALWAYS be grateful for you working so hard to support us. I know you have had made many sacrifices for us.  I also know that these next months in Kenya will be an amazing adventure for our family.  You are making our dream to take our kids to Kenya a big reality.  I was thinking a summer, while you saw bigger.  I am so excited to start this journey and watch what God has planned for us.  Thank you Phill for making all of our dreams a reality. I love you more than you could ever know. Happy 9 years of marriage!