Overcoming Postpartum Depression & Living and Loving God's Blessings

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Bleeding heart

I looked up the definition of a bleeding heart. It says "a person who is considered to be excessively sympathetic towards those who claim to be underprivileged or exploited."

I have been blessed with this bleeding heart, but it comes with a price. I feel too much. 

There is no wonder why I went into Social Work or became a foster parent. There is no wonder why I love my three kids more than anything in this world. There is no wonder why I love Kenya and all it's beautiful people.  I also am an animal lover. Especially dogs. 

This is rather embarrassing but last night I sat outside to check on that stray dog that has been staying here. My husband tells me all the time not to pet the dogs. Do you think I listen? Not a chance. This dog just needs someone to love him. 

Isn't that all any of us really wants?  Isn't that how God created us?  To love and be loved...the greatest of these is love.

Now what does this really have to do with loving a stray and disheveled dog?  God sees everything. He sees all our pain and joy. He sees our midnight tears. He hears our worries and our mistakes. He created us to be loving and compassionate people. Somewhere in the everyday grind of life and tragedy and hurt relationships we become hardened. We stop caring so much because it hurts too much to put yourself out there to be rejected. 

I love the song "I am a rock" by Simon and Garfunkel. I love it for two reasons. One night in college, my funny friend and roommate sang this song and danced all the way home from the bar. People on the walk home bent over in fits of laughter. I will never forget that. I also love it because I know we all feel that way at times. It might be easier to just not love or to be a rock or island so you can protect yourself from pain. 

I don't know why God gave me this bleeding heart. It is a blessing for sure. A glimpse into what he feels for his children. All of us. Regardless of what we have done or didn't do in our lives. 

One of the nicest things anyone ever said to me at 16 years old was,"Don't change."  Maybe what he was saying was the world will try to change you, break you and destroy you, but you are made exactly the way God intended you to be.

So I say to you. Don't change. Keep what is God given and don't build up walls. Don't try to be a rock. It doesn't work. You will only become resentful and bitter. You will miss out on so many things if you do. Life is too short to miss out. Live life. No regrets. Love with all your heart even if it bleeds dry :)

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