I was able to breastfeed for two months. Then you know my story. Because of some of the medications with the postpartum depression, I was told to stop breastfeeding. At the time I wasn't able to get sentimental or feel badly about this decision, because I was just trying to survive.
Now I am the mom who buys formula at the store for my baby. I've had comments from random people about how "breast is best." I smile and politely say, "I did as long as I could." If I know them well enough, I will tell them why I quit breast feeding.
My annoyance with this is simply, what is so wrong with formula feeding my baby? Sometimes I feel like I am being ostracized for NOT breastfeeding. It is really a personal decision and it really is no one else's business.
Some women CAN'T breastfeed, so why should they have to feel inadequate?
It really irritates me even more when it is a man who says it to me. I've had two men, who do not know me make comments about how "breast is best" I think the next man who tells me that, I will ask him what kind of underwear wears. Then maybe he will get the point!
that is rediculous. now i get the other end of the spectrum with the twins. they are 19 mos and everyone is uncomfortable around me still bf. not that i do it in public or even often during the day, but some days are still 5 or so times,...what is wrong with it. ? i didnt think i would be still, but i was so overemotional about the whole thing when the meds would have it contraindicated that i broke down and decided not to take those meds,....thank god there were others. i am a stay at home mom and am almost always by myself, what is the problem.... breast is best (generally) but not always! as in your case,....i would just make a snarky comment about a living mother is best! that is how i feel. i cannot say just how much a difference there is. i am back to who i used to be mostly, death most days is not a option,.....where before it became a fixation. it could be so much worse. could you imagine moms going directly into chemo getting told that,...again, living parents are better than a temporary feeding option! you could always comment,.....something like,.....well if yours work better than mine by all means! (they dont have to know why,....and if they ask tell them! otherwise shrug it off to the fact that after tx,...they dont work for that anymore!) good luck and keep your chin up. you are doing the best for you kids, and if i recall they are both very healthy tots! and way cute!
ReplyDeleteIt seems that everyone has an opinion these days and they are not afraid to voice it. You need to do what is RIGHT FOR YOU. I'm sure you would have LOVED to have been able to breast feed longer, but you can be thankful for the two months that you did do it! Your child still got all that healthy and delicious colostrum in the beginning and THAT is what is important. Well, THAT and the fact that you took care of yourself so that you are able to care for your child in the future.
ReplyDeleteI breast fed my son until he was 15 months old - getting flack for "he's old enough to drink from a cup". (Yep, and he was good at drinking from a cup; although, he preferred his MILK straight from the cow!) I would have gladly done it longer, but my Multiple Sclerosis had flared up - affecting my vision - prompting me to quit BF ASAP so that I could get back onto medicine again. Our thought was that our son would rather have a mom who had her eyesight than to have access to boobs for a few more months. Funny thing... turns out, we found out that I was pregnant around that very same time and LUCKILY discovered it before I started back on the medicine again. Thankfully, MS goes into remission during pregnancy; although, I am scared as hell for what will happen after I deliver...
Thanks so much ladies for the support! It really can feel like a "motherhood battle" out there. After all these little bundles of joy do NOT come with instructions!
ReplyDeleteSarahjane- Congrats on your pregnancy! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy and I pray that your MS will stay in remission. God Bless
I had to stop breastfeeding for the same reason. I was heart-broken. I had a few comments, but I never could quite come back with something witty. I'm sorry that people are rude. Don't let it discourage you. You made the right choice. Your kids need your love, health and prescence more than breastmilk.
ReplyDeleteI'm impartial to breast milk and formula. One's natural and has more (natural) fats, the other is scientifically engineered(with skepticism here and there). I personally feel an individual best develops from the,(lack of words right now, and using a computing analogy) logical interactions in their life. (Parenting, friends, and trial & error). In other words, even without the breast milk, he is getting the best parenting a child could ask for.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it's 2010. Men would probably think you're hitting on them. My reaction would be to smile at their short-sightedness and walk away. Some people were not lucky enough to have biology, and don't understand how chemicals are stored and travel through cells. :-/
As a new mom I was hell bent on Breastfeeding.... I did buy a pump for when I had to return to work, but I just knew I would have 6 months at home to figure that out. After 4 weeks, my son had lost so much weight and had been through so many tests to see what was wrong with him. Finally some genious doctor said, "why don't you pump so we can get an accurate count on how much milk he is taking in" so I pumped....and the collecting cups were EMPTY....really after all the time they spent trying to figure out what was wrong with him...IT WAS ME all along. I was crushed. I refused to purchase bottles, formula and the whole works....so I made my husband do it. It took me a while before I finally was ok with it, though I never bought formula (actually my husband bought 107 cases of it the first trip to sam's~apparently he calculated how much we would need for 11 months) but I do remember all of the "gentle advice" I used to get when I would feed him a bottle in public and it made me feel horrible....why do people think they have any right to make a mom feel bad for any reason?
ReplyDeleteI do wish you had gotten better medical advice during your whole ppd ordeal, but nonetheless you should NEVER feel bad about the decision you made because it truly saved your life.
Thanks so much Foskett family and B Foster.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right. It did save my life and for that I will be forever grateful for. Sometimes I am still in shock that I made it out of that horrible place and am amazed at how much it forces you to appreciate and love the people around you. All this bad in the world... but there is still love and hope.