The human body is amazing. Each is unique and complex. What works for one body, might destroy another. It really is a science when figuring out what medication will work for each individual person.
I have been taking Celexa 20 mg for 5 months now and it works pretty well. I still have some "postpartum junk in the trunk" though. I just kept it quiet and tried to think maybe it was normal for me to have intrusive thoughts and irrational fears. I am a mom- and moms worry about everything. Everything is a potential danger to our little curious children. My 7 month old is fascinated with cords. He pulls on them, tries to eat them, and whips them around like a little baby cowboy.
Today I went to see my doctor and I started crying. She told me I shouldn't be having these kinds of irrational fears that my kids are in danger and I shouldn't be having intrusive thoughts. I also told her about my nightmares. I have a reoccurring nightmare a few times a week that I leave baby Phillip somewhere and I can't find him. He is always in his car seat, but I can't find him. I am in a panic trying to find him. I hate those nightmares because I feel like it is a foreshadowing of what is to come. Then I have to talk myself out of this, like I would never do such a thing. Well I know I wouldn't, but I have to convince myself it would never happen.
I told my doctor about how I had a complete meltdown over the drop-side crib we own. There is a mandatory recall on all drop-side cribs because they are unsafe and infants have died because they can malfunction. I called my husband to tell him this and I was sobbing into the phone. He didn't even know what I was saying. I overreacted a bit much on this one. Again- the irrational fears got the best of me.
I sometimes don't do so well on this postpartum journey, but then God reminds me where I have been. I still have to fight and it is a battle. I am still going to have bad bad days, just like everyone else does.
My doctor is prescribing me a new medicine, Wellbutrin, to help with the fears and nightmares. She will probably take me off Celexa cause it just isn't enough. I am hoping this will do the trick.
The medicine helps, but God does the real healing.
The meds should work better on your anxiety then that for sure. I take effexor and it is a beautiful relief from the nagging worries. Others have not worked at all. I read a book called The Good Sister by Druscilla Campell all I can say is WOW it was such an eye opener it told a very interesting story of 3 generations of women one of which went through PPD and eventually had post pardum psychosis. Interesting stuff you should check it out-Jodi
ReplyDeleteThanks Jodi- I need a good read! I take Wellbutrin now and it is much better. I have more energy and I am not hungry ever two hours like I was on Celexa alone. I still take Celexa too.
ReplyDeleteI have lost some weight finally! It was so annoying to run 5 days a week 3 miles and not see any results. I am going to look up that book right now. Thanks so much!