Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Phill held me close as we walked through the double doors. It was like being released from a prison. The prison wasn't the hospital, it was the depression the consumed me. I knew I was 80% better than when I first arrived at the hospital, but I still had a lot of fear. I had fear about going home, fear about my marriage surviving, but most of all I was afraid that depression would slowly creep back up and take over my life again.

We waited for the elevator. Phill spoke to me is a soft voice. He was so gentle with me like I had a huge FRAGILE sign on my body. He told me that he had made arrangements to take me to a hotel for two nights just the two of us. I was a bit relieved but everything was still so overwhelming.
We made it down to the car and I saw our friend Todd. I said, "Thanks for busting me out of there!" Todd laughed and made some funny joke like he always does. We drove to the nearest Walgreens to get my prescription filled. Phill asked me three times on the way to the pharmacy how I was doing. I said, "Fine." I was really doing fine. Not great, not bad, but fine. I had to call my family because they would be calling me that night and would be upset if I didn't let them know I was leaving. Phill talked to my sister and I talked to my dad. They seemed to be understanding, but they wanted to come and visit. We asked that they wait until Monday because we needed some time just the two of us. They understood and respected our wishes.
We stopped to get pizza. It smelled so good. I was talking to Todd about how I couldn't eat at all in the hospital. He made a joke that it didn't sound very convincing as I was shoving a piece of pizza in my mouth!
I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Todd dropped us off at the hotel. We had a ton of bags due to all of Phill's Kenya luggage. I thanked Todd and told him I loved him. It was the only thing I could say to make him know how much I appreciated all he had done for me and my family. One thing I learned from this experience is to never assume people know how you really feel about them. I tell people all of the time how much I love them. They need to know.

We checked into the hotel and Phill requested that if anyone called looking for us we were not there. We went by the names John and Jill Smith. I laughed because really we weren't famous and who would be looking for us? Phill just wanted to make sure that we could have the next two days to talk and to catch up before returning home with the kids. He didn't want to go to our house because he didn't want people to "pop" over and want to talk about his trip to Kenya.  I am really glad we had those two days. It was exactly what we both needed.