Saturday morning

Saturday morning I awoke at 6:00 a.m.  I felt well rested and peaceful. I was excited about what the day would bring. Panic didn't set in like it had the previous two mornings. I was calm. I knew this was a good thing.
I went to the activity room to fill out our daily goals. I couldn't believe how dramatic of a difference I was feeling in such a short time. I knew I was ready to go home. Now I just had to make sure the doctor agreed.
The doctor could order a 24 hour hold on a patient if they didn't think the patient was ready to be released. I knew that in the back of my mind, but I wasn't really worried.
We had breakfast and then group. We talked about exercise and sleep. Both things are very important for a person with depression. Exercise is important because your body releases endorphins which gives you a "natural high" and it helps create a positive coping skill.  Appropriate sleep is important too because too much or too little can affect your mood in a negative way.
After group I took a shower and waited anxiously to see the doctor.  Dr. P was off for the weekend so we had Dr. C. She had a great reputation. While I was waiting to see the doctor, Phill called and told me he was on his way. He told me he should be to the hospital by 5:30 p.m. I told him I was hoping to go home today, but we had to have our family meeting first. Phill was very hesitant to agree to my release. He told me he didn't want me to go if I wasn't ready because it would be harder for me if I had to go back to the hospital. I knew what he was saying. I told him I was ready and I made a promise to myself and my family that I wouldn't go home if I wasn't ready. I just needed the doctor to approve. We said our goodbyes and I waited patiently for the doctor.
I didn't see her until almost 1:00 in the afternoon. I was the last patient to be seen on the unit. I walked with Dr. C to the small meeting room with the doctor.  Dr. C was just as amazing as the nurses had told us. She asked a lot of questions about my plans to go home and I was open and honest with her. I told her of my plans to start running again. I told her about my plans to see a therapist twice a month and to continue my medication as directed. I told her about my plans to continue to ask for help if I was overwhelmed and to recognize the signs and symptoms sooner if my depression creeped back up.  Dr. C. told me she was very confident I would do well at home. She signed my release papers, gave me final instructions on my medication and wished me good luck. I felt like I was floating down the hallway back to my room. I felt free in a way I can't even describe. Like a bird being released from it's cage- I was going home!