A new inspiration

Martha left and we had another group. I sat next to Benny and a new lady named Sue. Sue didn't look up at anyone and didn't speak to anyone around her. She wore her long hair in her face and had no expression. I felt really bad for Sue because from what I could tell about her, she probably had been severely depressed for awhile. She looked a lot like I did when I first came. I wanted to talk to her and to tell her it was going to get better. But I didn't. She wouldn't have believed me at this point. I didn't believe anyone when they told me I would get better. Here I was though, feeling 75% better and having hope in my life again.

The project was to make a poster that we could see to remind ourselves of positive things in our life. I got to work right away. I wrote "One day at a time."  Then I drew a cross and put under it "Jesus Saves"  I put footprints in the sand to remind me that God carries you during your trials and suffering. I also put "God helps those who love him." I know it was a little heavy on my faith, but I felt called to do this. It was a true testament to what I had gone through and would continue to go through. I wanted others around me to see what I struggled through and to see how my faith in God was getting me through. God lead me to the hospital and to get the help I needed. He answered my prayer.

I had another very close friend come to visit me. We talked and laughed almost the whole time. I told her how glad I was she came to visit me. It made the lonely, long hours bearable. We talked about postpartum depression and how common it was. I was motivated right then and there to create more awareness to more moms out there. I just had no idea how I was going to do that.
After my friend left, we had to meet with one of the nurses one on one. I was so glad it was the same sweet nurse who did all of my admission paperwork. We talked for almost a half an hour. She told me that I was the third mom who was up on this unit for postpartum depression in the past nine months. She said that the moms don't really do very well when they are here because they don't feel like they are in the right place. I knew exactly what she was talking about. She said she would love to do more research on postpartum depression and work directly in this area. I remember thinking how amazing that would be. Ideas just kept flooding my head that night. I couldn't sleep because I was too excited about being an advocate for other moms out there. I was also nervous and excited to see my husband. He would be here to "bust me out of here" tomorrow afternoon. I had so much to tell him!