Admission to the hospital

I followed the admission nurse to the little room with a window and a crowded table and chairs. The social worker asked me what I wanted for dinner because she could call a tray up for me. I was given some choices and said a sandwich and white milk.
I had a huge stack of paperwork to fill out. The nurse asked most of the questions and I answered them to the best of my ability. I was told about the medications I would be given while I was there. I was told about the routine and the rules of the hospital.
I had to hand over my purse and turn off my cell phone. I had to cut the string out of my shorts. I was told I would have a roommate and my heart sank. I looked at the nurse and said, "Oh No!" She looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was scared to have a roommate. She said she could put me in a room by myself for tonight, but she couldn't guarantee I would have my own room my entire stay. The facility is a 12 bed facility and there are two beds in each room. The numbers were low and there were only four people on the unit so lucky for me I didn't have a roommate. I couldn't explain it, but I was so afraid of my "roommate" strangling me in my sleep and I was so paranoid. But at the same time I was sent to the hospital for having suicidal ideation.
I went to my room and sat on my bed and started crying. I told the nurse I wanted to go home. She was so sweet and comforted me the best she could. She said, "You are going to make me cry and we are not supposed to do that." I smiled. She told me I wasn't the first mom to come up here for postpartum depression and I would probably be able to go home in a few days. She left my room and told me the social worker would be in soon to meet with me.
I started to feel a little better. I took one bite of my sandwich. I couldn't eat anymore than one bite. I looked up and my sister came in my room. She told me I needed to stay. The nurses at the front desk told her to convince me to stay. They told her, "She needs to be here."
My sister Jennie sat on the empty bed in my room. I asked her if she was checking in too. She smiled and said she would stay with me if she could. I joked with her we could party in the psych ward. She brought me some clothes. I looked at them and realized my mother-in-law packed for me and didn't know where my clothes were. I had mismatched clothes and running shorts. It was freezing in there. I asked Jennie to bring me some sweatshirts and sweatpants the following day. My friend, Martha, came walking in. I hugged her like I hadn't seen her in years. I felt like I would be o.k. as long as Martha and Jennie were there with me. Martha is a nurse and a great friend. I called her right away on the way to the hospital to tell her I wouldn't need her to come over on that Friday to help with the kids cause I was being admitted to the hospital. She said, "I will be there at 7:00 tonight." We talked until visiting hours were over. I had to hug Jennie and Martha goodbye and they said they would both see me tomorrow. I told them I loved them and appreciated them coming to see me.
I sat on my bed and thought to myself, "go make friends-it's what you do best." I walked into the activity room and sat next to a woman. I said hi to everyone in the room. They introduced themselves to me. (I changed their names to protect them.) I met Dave and Wendy. We made small talk and watched America's Got Talent. Soon the nurse came to hand out our medication. I took some Ambien and an anti-anxiety medication called Thorazine. I watched ten more minutes of T.V. and then stood up. I swaggered into my room. I felt drunk. They told us to change in the bathroom because there were video cameras in the rooms. I changed into my pajamas and fell onto my bed.