Overcoming Postpartum Depression & Living and Loving God's Blessings

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Today

I want to fast forward a bit to today, August 26, 2010 just to share a little insight on how I am doing now. Many readers have asked if I am in the hospital now and many are concerned about how I am doing.
I am doing very well. I have been home for a month now and I am happy, healthy, and excited about my future. I am loving being a mom more than ever! I am also back to work part-time and love it.
I am still on medication and will need to be for a year. I attend therapy every three weeks. I love my therapist. She gets to the point and asks great questions. Finding a great therapist is sometimes not always the easiest thing to do, but they are out there.
I still struggle with my "condition" I am concerned about having a relapse or having to be on medication for longer than a year. I do know that I will not wait to get help and I won't have to do down that dark road ever again. I am not sure if it is the medicine or the postpartum depression, but I struggle with short term memory loss. I think most moms could identify with temporary lapses in memory-but this is kind of frustrating. I have been almost in tears over little things. I could not remember eating my strawberry at a picnic and accused my husband of eating it! I couldn't remember switching the laundry when I already did and one night I didn't remember getting up with the baby to feed him, but I did. That is scary because I want to make sure I am not asleep or in zombie land when I am caring for him. My husband and I take turns waking up with the baby.
My faith has grown tremendously during this battle, and it will continue to grow. I know that God will use this experience for good. He always does. I am so blessed to have such amazing family and friends and I am so grateful for my new life.
I sometimes get sad because I feel like the old me is gone forever and I kinda liked who she was. But the new me is stronger now and has to learn to accept things for the way they are. I also get very sad at times because I am scared to have another baby. The doctor said I could have another baby, but they would put me on medication right after the baby is born to make sure I wouldn't go through this again. I know right now is not the time to make that decision, but I always saw myself with three children of my own. I am so blessed with my two children and all of our foster children we have raised for the past six years. The two children we have now are an 11 year old girl, who we just adore, and a 17 year old boy, who is so responsible and respectful. I love our family just the way it is. God has truly blessed our family and the children he put here so I shouldn't get sad about possibly being done having children. And maybe a baby is still in my future. I just need to focus one day at a time and enjoy the ride. Life is waiting for me and I have a whole lot of living to do!!
Tomorrow's blog-back to my story in the hospital.

3 comments:

  1. I am so blessed to have an amazing woman like you to call a friend. You and your husband have been true inspirations to us in many different ways. Now, another level of respect I have for you. Thanks for putting this blog together for many who don't have any idea about postpartum and many who have. You are an incredible and Brave Woman JAK! Keep up your good work and I look forward to sharing thoughts one on one with you! Ami

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  2. Hello Jodi- Hope this finds you & your family well. I have struggled with depression/anxiety ever since I can remember. It does definitely give you a huge wakeup call when you do have a low point, but yet it encourages one to act upon it quicker & take charge. Thanks so much for sharing your story. You are an inspiration to all. I will be on meds forever & definitely okay with that. Also, I have several counseling sessions throughout the year that keep me in check. Wishing you the best & take one day at a time. God Bless- Maria Byrge(Reinl)

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  3. Thank you AMW for your kind words and inspiration. I overwhelmed by all of the positive feedback and great comments! We need to get together soon!

    Thank you Maria, I am so sorry you have dealt with depression and anxiety. I never understood it until now and my heart aches for those who have to deal with it. I am so glad you are getting the support you need. So many people don't and it can even be more devastating. Thanks so much for reading and continuing to be an encouragement!

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