Coping Skills

After my parents left we had group. Our topic was positive coping skills. I learned that patients who end up in the hospital have chemical imbalances, but also many of the patients have poor coping skills thus the addictions.  I thought I knew this all. I have a social work degree and I am a foster parent. I talk about positive coping skills constantly with my kids and in my line of work. How could this be so foreign to me?
I wasn't there like many of the other patients who were alcoholics or drug addicts. I couldn't even think of one negative coping skill I was doing, but the fact was since I had baby Phillip, I wasn't doing anything for myself except for trying to get a nap whenever I could. I was miserable trying to do everything for my new baby and feeling guilty for not spending time with my other kids and husband. Every time baby Phillip cried, I would rush to hold him. My mom kept telling me not to do this. I knew that because I tried to do that when my daughter Natalie was a baby. Eventually you realize you can't devote all of your time and energy to your baby because it isn't possible and it isn't good for you or your baby.
We talked about exercise which is always my favorite response to stress. I love to run. I have been a runner since the sixth grade. I tried running a few times with Phill after my six week check up. It was so exhausting and I had such a hard time. This only made me frustrated and I hated my body because of it. I was way to critical of myself.
After discovering this about myself I knew I needed to start writing down how my life was going to change from this day forward. I knew change had to occur for myself and my family if I was going to continue to get better. One thing my dad talked to me about when he visited was how fragile I was and how I needed to go home to a peaceful environment to recover. I knew he was right. I couldn't go back home into my same routine and making the same mistakes and expect to get better.
I talked with Benny a little after the group meeting. I don't know what it is, but I really enjoyed talking to him. I've always had a great relationship with my father so talking with older adult men was easy for me. I saw things in Benny he didn't see in himself. I wanted to "go to work" and start getting to the place where I could help Benny. The social worker in me couldn't take care of her own problem, but wanted to fix his!